ROAD TRIP -- FINAL THOUGHTS

This was a fun trip, all 3200 miles of it. My general impressions are, in no particular order:

• Those southerners can and will deep fry anything except sweet tea (and they'll find a way to fry that soon, I'm sure)
• I really missed fresh vegetables -- and I mean fresh like the way they are served fresh in California (barely cooked so you can actually taste the flavor of the vegetable)
• I also really missed good coffee (yes, I realize that "good" when it comes to coffee varys wildly from region to region, but is it really that difficult to make a strongly flavored coffee that is not burned and not bitter? They do it in Seattle all the time.)
• Almost all portions served in restaurants (even the fancy ones) are huge and would be adequate for at least two people if not more (An entree consisting of half a chicken plus two or three large biscuits all covered in at least two large ladle-fulls of sausage gravy plus a bunch of other side dishes is rather overkill in my book, no matter how good it tastes.)
• January and February are the ideal months to travel in the south -- it is not hot and the tourist numbers are down, which means that you have a chance to actually see the attractions
• Texas has the best crazy place names -- don't know why
• Savannah was my favorite place to visit, by far -- well, if you don't count the bourbon distilleries. Everyone there was remarkably friendly and the food was magical.
• If you go on a road trip with friends, be sure to drive a large vehicle. There were three of us and we rented a soccer-mom van, which was a really good thing because the back was completely stuffed with luggage and the non-passenger half of the middle was piled with coats, cameras, shopping bags, and the ever-important road-snack bag.  OK, for the curious among you, the road-snack bag had potato chips, Cheetos, Freetos, mixed nuts, and some chocolates. Oh, and also a case of bottled water and some soda, not to mention handbags.
• Concierges can be really helpful and can greatly enhance your trip. They are the ones that volunteer information and also volunteer to make reservations for you. Mediocre concierges are a waste of time. We found that the good ones smile more. (And be sure to tip them if they do a bunch of stuff for you.)
• Talking about tipping, hotel housekeeping staff in most southern towns make very (very!) low wages, so leaving a tip each day makes a huge difference. I got to chatting with a manager in one hotel and learned that a couple of the housekeeping staff lived on Raman noodles for most meals. If I have enough money to travel, thenit stand to reason that I have enough money to leave $5 a day for housekeeping.

While waiting in the airport to fly back home from Dallas, we decided to put together a fantasy menu from all our favorites, so here it is.

APPETIZERS

• Fried pickles (Pirate House, Savannah)
• Fried green tomatoes (Chart House, Savannah)
• Fried corn fritters  (Chart House, Savannah)
• She-crab soup (82 Queen, Charleston)
• Pork belly duck confit (The Pink House, Savannah)

ENTREES

• Fried chicken with biscuits & sausage gravy (Annie O's, Hilton Head)
• Pecan-crusted fried chicken (Pirate House, Savannah)
• Ribeye steak ( (Chart House, Savannah AND The Rickhouse, Bardston)
• BBQ chicken (The Rickhouse, Bardston)
• Salmon (82 Queen, Charleston)

SIDE DISHES

• Biscuits (Pirate House, Savannah)
• Cornbread (Kentucky Bourbon House, Bardstown)
• Mac 'n cheese (The Pink House, Savannah)
• Coleslaw (Kentucky Bourbon House, Bardstown)
• Smoked bacon & garlic grits  (Chart House, Savannah)
• Cheesy grits with lump crab (82 Queen, Charleston)
• Pimiento cheese grits (The Pink House, Savannah)
• Lima beans with bacon (Any Cracker Barrel)

DESSERTS:  Coconut pie and key lime pie  (Annie O's, Hilton Head)

COCKTAILS

• Manhattans (The Rickhouse, Bardston)
• Skullcrusher (just for the name) (Pirate House, Savannah)
• Old fashioneds (The Rickhouse, Bardston)

BREAKFAST:  cinnamon rolls and sticky buns (Goose Feathers, Savannah)

And there you have it. Go see the south and eat!

ROAD TRIP DAY 18 MEMPHIS AND GRACELAND

It was around 19 F this morning with light snow falling. At least we didn’t have ice to contend with on the windshield. I really enjoyed getting snow on me and my coat and having snow blow into the car every time we opened a door. OK, call me weird but this is so different from what I am used to at home that it really is fun.

Today we drove to from Bardstown, KY to Memphis, TN, which is about a 6 hour drive. Many parts of the highway were cut through rocky hills and the sides of the highway were just covered with icicles -- it was really pretty. Interestingly, the color of the highway pavement is brown in Tennessee -- at least along the Tennessee Music Highway. Along the way we passed by London, Paris, and Cuba, and I just have to mention the town of Bucksnort, which gave us the giggles. Oh, and I certainly don’t want to forget that we passed up the opportunity to visit the Grinders Switch Winery (remember Minnie Pearl? She was from Grinders Switch), the Loretta Lynn Dude Ranch, Dinosaur Land (I don’t know how we managed to steel ourselves to drive by that attraction), Fort Pillow (now I ask you, could that really have been a very effective fort with a name like that?), and the Corvette museum (that was especially difficult to drive by). We even drove past Nashville because we just didn’t have time to stop -- guess I have to save that for another trip. As a side note, we noticed quite a few “adult” stores (some of them were “super adult” stores and some of them were in big buildings!). I guess they are on the highway to get them out of town so nobody knows when you go shopping there.

I have to mention here that throughout our trip, the one sad thing is that we have not found any good coffee. So this morning we stopped at a Starbucks in Bowling Green. We each took a sip of our coffee, looked at each other, grinned, and then let out a big ahhhhh. What is it about high-end restaurants not being able to make good coffee? If I ran the world, I’d make good coffee the law!

We finally arrived in Memphis and checked into the Heartbreak Hotel, across the street from the Graceland mansion (need I say that Graceland was Elvis Presley’s home?). Whimsical, 1970s kitschy furniture in the lobby, Elvis movies playing on the 1970s TV set in the lobby, and Elvis photos everywhere. We booked a normal room, nothing fancy, and we certainly got a room that was just that -- nothing fancy. But it is adequate.

After settling in for a few minutes, we went right back out and toured Graceland mansion. It really was very interesting even though I’m not a rabid Elvis fan. Definitely worth going at least once (and yes, Paul Simon’s song Graceland keeps whirling around in my head). When looking at his costumes, I was surprised to see that he was not a big man -- I guess I kind of expected such a big star to be physically larger.

For dinner, we went to the lobby, picked up a table-top phone that had a base covered in pink fake fur and a handset encrusted in rhinestones -- the phone goes directly to Marlowe’s, a highly recommended BBQ restaurant nearby and decorated liberally with Elvis photos. In ten minutes their stretch pink Cadillac arrived to pick us up and take us to the restaurant -- no charge. The first thing I have to say is that the portions are enough to feed three to four people and the food is good. We started with deep fried corn fritters (heaven!) and then I had BBQ spaghetti (pulled pork with BBQ sauce on a bed of spaghetti -- hey, when in Rome and all that) with macaroni and cheese (not as good as in other places on this trip but still very good) and coleslaw (a girl has to have something that looks like a vegetable once in awhile). And I finished off with a mound of banana pudding that was eye-popping in size. And of course, our pink Cadillac limo took us back to the hotel. I can now say that I feel fully Elvisized, rolled, dipped, and covered in all things Elvis. And that’s enough for me. As I am writing this, the Tennessee Jamboree is on the TV (all kinds of country dancing, banjo playing, and fiddling) -- I love it!

And this just about brings the trip to an end. We drive back to Dallas tomorrow and fly home the day after. Thank you for following my blog.

ROAD TRIP DAY 17 LAST DAY ON THE BOURBON TRAIL

Today we had clear, blue skies with a high of 23F and a wind chill factor that took down the temp to around 10F. With my new winter coat, gloves, and ear muffs, I’ve been staying pretty warm, but standing outside for any time makes my face really start to hurt. Just call me Frozen Lips from now on. We had a hard layer of ice on the windshield which we tried to scrape off with credit cards with very limited success. Luckily, a lovely gentleman brought over his big ice scraper and cleared off the windshield for us. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced ice like that, not to mention the icy patches on the roads and sidewalks. When we got in the car we all ended up in giggles because the partially filled to-go cup of soda that was left in the car overnight was frozen solid -- we turned it upside down and nothing happened.

I just want to note that I have not found any hush puppies yet!

We visited the Barton distillery -- they make Barton 1792, Old Barton, Ten High and several others. The distillery is located near our hotel and they have been cooking mash for several days now (it is better to cook the mash in the colder months because in the summer it gets too hot and kills the yeast). Consequently, the air has been smelling of sour mash -- I love the smell. Afterwards, we stopped at a local liquor store to buy bottles of bourbon that we know are not available at home (picked up a bottle of Angel’s Envy and a bottle of Larceny) and then off to the shipping store to ship home all the stuff we bought that can’t fit in the luggage. At the liquor store an old, local guy got to chatting with us and asked us if we wanted some “apple pie,” which is apparently the slang for moonshine. We declined but appreciated the offer.

Our plans were to end our visit here by going to the local Bardstown Opry but it was canceled because the parking lot was just a sheet of ice and too treacherous for anyone to navigate. So we went to a movie and then dined at The Old Talbott Inn which dates back to 1779. Tomorrow our only agenda is to find a Starbuck’s somewhere (we have only found really good coffee at one place in Savannah) and drive to Memphis, which is about a six-hour drive. So now it is time to try and stuff everything back in the suitcase, which is something like trying to get all the clowns stuffed back into the itty, bitty car at the circus.